The Outdoor Adventures of Squeet and Her Untrustworthy Sidekick Pip

The Firewood Pile Noise Mystery, Part 4

Where did Pip go, did the mystery noise get her? Simply put, that’s not my problem, the noise in the wood pile mystery is my mission and top priority. Master is beginning to show signs of impatience with fishing so my time to investigate is growing short. I’m going to need to resort to drastic measures to solve this mystery before the pack leaves. To save time, rather than digging the third hole, immediate and complete deconstruction of the wood pile is needed.

Step one, I run circles around the pile yelling at the logs for at least five minutes to loosen up. Then I jump on the pile and bite the logs. I tried pushing, pulling and even several body slams to get the logs to move. The pushing and pulling helped some but my nose and mouth got filled up with mud and bark again. I couldn’t breathe so I had to quit. Man, I wish I had thumbs, this would be a lot easier.  The body slams against the side of the pile are giving results though.

Finally the pile tipped over, now I can investigate each log individually and see what’s underneath the pile. That noise must be here somewhere. I spread out the logs, sorting them by smell and texture. The Master started mumbling again, he seemed very disappointed with me and I’m not sure why. Doesn’t he understand the importance of my work dragging the logs all around? There are untold dangers under that pile. Master just doesn’t understand how the world would be safer if I could track this noise down. I sat down and stared at him for a minute but still didn’t figure it out. I found that ignoring him is the best policy when he behaves like that, so that’s what I did.

I continued with my investigation, dragging and biting logs while sniffing and snorting for clues.  I was about to look under the last log when all of a sudden there was a bright flash of light and a big boom. It startled me and I stumbled back because I wasn’t expecting that. The flashing booming noise coming from the sky was terrifying. It kept happening over and over again and again. Then it started getting louder and closer. Now it was even making water fall from the sky, how can that be possible?

Suddenly I heard Master yelling, loudly for once not just mumbling. He kept saying, Squeet go home, Squeet go home. Then all of sudden he just ran away, headed for home I think. This put me in a dilemma, either find out what the firewood pile mystery noise is or catch up to the pack. After slowly, methodically assessing the situation I decided that since all I had to eat today was mud and bark that I was in need a well-earned meal. So reluctantly I decided to go home where good chow would be at my fingertips…..pawtips……whatever.

The mystery will have to wait for another day. Besides that Pip and Master were already gone and I might need them for back up if the noise in the log pile decides to attack. I’ll keep watch over my shoulder as I run home.

 

This is the end for now, but you just wait and see mister wood pile noise, I’ll be back some day…. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

The Outdoor Adventures of Squeet and Her Untrustworthy Sidekick, Pip. The Firewood Pile Noise Mystery, Part 3

The first hole gave up no new clues. The second hole needed to start immediately before the noise could escape. I was confident that this mystery could be solved. Pip was still gone and master went to look for her, so no one would interfere. The first hole left me a little winded and unable to see or hear clearly because of the mud mashed into my face but I still had confidence. So I went after the second hole with a real get’er done attitude. Again the mud was flying and I was a good foot or so into it when all of a sudden I felt a cold nose touch my butt. No it wasn’t master, it was Pip, she came back and wanted to take over the hole. No way, I growled, you’re not going to steal my thunder, this is my mystery. But the little pest wouldn’t quit, she kept jumping on my back and jamming her body in the hole next to me. There wasn’t enough room for the both of us so I generously backed out. I couldn’t see or hear and I needed a break anyway.

While Pip continued work on the second hole I headed down to the fishing hole for a quick dip to get rinsed off. Swimming is one of my favorite pass times and belly flops are my specialty. Good elevation is the key to a successful belly flop. I needed to get up some speed and really throw myself into the air. I backed up on the beach and burst into full speed and had a perfect lift off. Just at the highest point of elevation I heard some mumbling. Yep you guessed it, its master, he’s back and seemed to be very disappointed with me. I’m not sure why, I was only doing cannon balls in the fishing hole, what’s wrong with that?

After a quick shaking off and while giving master a wide berth, I decided to see how Pip was doing with the excavation. Strolling up to the hole I looked in. Pip was nowhere to be seen, she was gone again! How was this mystery ever going to be solved with slackers like her for help?

To be continued next week, same time, same channel.

The Outdoor Adventures of Squeet and Her Untrustworthy Sidekick, Pip. The Firewood Pile Noise Mystery, Part 2

I decided that dissection of the wood pile by whatever means necessary was in order. I started by plunging my nose into all sides of the pile and inhaling big breaths of air, dirt and tree bark. This provided me no further clues. It did however make me choke, cough and hack up something pretty nasty, so I decided to try a new approach. Since the areas that could be sniffed held no further evidence, my giant dog brain concluded that the sound must have come from underneath the pile. To solve this mystery, I was going to need to some excavating under the pile. The soil was wet muddy sand and posed no real impedance. Master was looking the other way checking the fishing poles and Pip was still gone so there wasn’t any great barriers stopping me.

I pride myself on my ability to dig holes and decided that 3 holes were necessary. Two on one side of the pile and one on the other. The holes were to be big around enough for me to fit into with a depth all the way to china if necessary. Master was still playing with the fishing poles, not paying any attention to me, so the first hole started strong. The mud was just flying. Even when my eyes and ears were completely packed full of mud I still didn’t slow down. It wasn’t until a foot or so into the project that the master requested that I quit. Unknown to me was that he left an open tackle box on the excavation site. I’m not sure what all those words he said to me meant, he mumbles a lot.

It wasn’t my fault, I couldn’t move it, I don’t have any thumbs.

To be continued next week, same time, same channel.

The Outdoor Adventures of Squeet and Her Untrustworthy Sidekick Pip. The Firewood Pile Noise Mystery, Part 1

Squeet and Pip

 

Today I decided to take Pip and our master fishing for walleyes. To get to the fishing spot we had to walk through terrifying trails covered with mud and wet grass touching me everywhere and getting my belly dirty. The master rode a 4 wheeler and just laughed at me when I asked for a ride. Anyway, after 5 excruciatingly painful minutes we all safely arrived.

Master casted in fishing lines, I wanted to help but he wouldn’t let me. He said I needed thumbs and I would just eat the bait. Well excuse me but I was born without thumbs and happen to love eating minnows. The master and I, not Pip, patiently waited for a fish to bite.  Pip just stared at the master hoping to go back home to her couch. We waited for almost 15 whole minutes and nothing bit. I concluded that they probably never will, so I better check for other activities. I saw the master doing something so I headed there.

Pip the couch potato

The master was stacking firewood by the fishing hole. Suddenly a noise came from under the pile. It was a loud noise similar to a lion, tiger or bear, oh no! For some reason I was the only one who could hear it. Further investigation was needed as it might mean the end of the world as we know it.  I searched the pile carefully and methodically from end to end and top to bottom many times but found nothing, so I looked to master and Pip for help. All master did was laugh at me and Pip was gone, I think she got scared or maybe bored and was already half way back home. I could see that this was a mystery I was going to have to solve by myself.

The mystery begins

To be continued next week, same time, same channel.

Fishing tip #3

Split the duties, one person with dirty hands and the other with clean hands.  One person to bait the hooks and take off the fish and the other to make sandwiches and open sodas. Keeps everyone healthier and the boat cleaner and more organized.

Hunting tip #1

Still hunting or stalking. Preselect a starting point for your hunt, it may be at the vehicle or a distance into the woods. Use a rule of thumb while still hunting and stalking is to move as slow as you would if you were crawling on your belly through a briar patch. When taking a series of steps imitate the sound of a squirrel hoping across the ground. As your looking around avoid turning your upper torso as much as possible instead turn only your head. These tips minimize the prey from hearing an unfamiliar noise and seeing a profile change (movement).

Fishing tip #2

Always wear glasses, safety glasses are best. Murphy’s Law is that if a hook goes flying it’s going to hit you. If you’re casting or trolling, sharp hooks whizzing through the air are just normal. Someone is bound to get nailed eventually. Also when you have a fish next to the boat, hooks sometimes pop free and your eye is their favorite target. It really sucks to get a hook buried in your hide but one in the eye can be the end of your sight.